Here's the deal
I used to have a lot of trouble wrapping my head around the idea of surrender. From my point of view, I couldn't see any way that it wasn't just giving up, or becoming a victim of whatever Life decided to throw my way.
I wasn't sure how to connect my personal power and sense of agency to "just letting go," and it felt like free will or the desires of my heart weren't actually all that important if I was supposed to just learn how to become unattached to everything in my life.
What was the point of learning to trust my intuition, or of finding my voice if learning to parrot some grand divinity was the end game?
All of this roiled around inside of me, eventually reaching a boiling point during a time of deep disappointment and grief over the way that several different areas of my life were playing out. The advice I was being given was some version of "go with the flow," and so I spent a lot of time visualizing myself floating along the currents of a river - which mostly ended in a wave of tears, a temper tantrum, or an outburst of anger.
Several weeks after much of the drama settled, I was brushing my teeth - thinking of nothing in particular - when it occurred to me, almost audibly, that it was the difference between running inside a hamster wheel and building a windmill.
We love clear directions. We want steps, and an aggressive plan of action, especially when things aren't going the way we would prefer. So it's no wonder that it's incredibly difficult for us to release control when we hold the idea that surrender is a passive act that leaves us on the sidelines of our own life.
The thing that clicked for me, and that I love about the windmill imagery, is that I'm still involved. My action plan becomes clear; I'm not on the sidelines watching my life happen, I'm participating by putting up windmills in all of the best places to catch the flow.
It takes most of us a lifetime of practice to learn to surrender to the flow of life.
- Notice the kinds of things that bring you a lot of stress on a regular basis - some common areas include: finances, the future, your job, your health, etc...
- Consider what it would mean to replace the hamster wheel with a windmill in those areas.
- Choose one action step (even a baby one) that you can take today towards building or surrendering your windmill to the process of co-creation.