Here's the deal
When faced with choices or change, we always have three options: leave it, change it, or accept it. If it's something we want, it's easy to jump right into acceptance or surrender to the flow. But when it's something that challenges us, we usually have to cycle through each of these options, like steps, learning to surrender a little bit deeper as we go.
3 Steps To Surrender
- Leave It, AKA: Denial. Life can throw some overwhelming curveballs our way, and when it does, there is usually a moment of disbelief and denial of the situation. We've all had that flash of thought that says, "It can't be true," and then it's over in an instant. And we've all met someone (because it could never be something you would do) who has spend most of their life in full-on denial of some issue or event. Our brains are so good at helping us survive, that they will employ denial in order for us to continue breathing and digesting and getting to the next safe space. So on one hand, it's a good thing, but once you make it to that next safe space, if you never come to an awareness about what has been denied, then it will stunt your ability to be true to your deepest self.
- Change It, AKA: Control. Change is something that we love to hate. It's usually not welcome unless we're the ones to initiate a shift. When we faced with a situation we don't like, and we've moved past our first step of denial, our thoughts immediately move towards what we can do to change it- or how we can get back in control of the situation. Again, this is another blessing of our survival instinct and it fuels so much about what is good in our lives. In a culture that values independence and pulling ourselves up by the bootstraps, giving up control is counterintuitive. But giving up control of is not the same thing as going out of control (more on this tomorrow - hamsters, and windmills...) and realizing that you are not in charge of the universe can bring enormous amounts of freedom.
- Accept It, AKA Surrender. Coming to a moment of acceptance happens when we're able to truly be present to the moment we're in now. Not the one we just came from, and not the ones yet to come, but right now, this breath. Surrendering into acceptance is not about becoming a victim or a punching bag for the universe. Surrender is actually about regaining our footing and plugging into the real power available within us. When we allow an awareness about what is happening right now, in this moment, we also allow the awarenesses regarding any necessary actions needing to be taken right now, in this moment. Surrender allows for flow, it allows for the thing that is trying to happen (often as opposed to the thing that we thought or wanted to happen) can happen. Think of how many times can you look back at your life with gratitude for all the things that didn't happen the way you thought you wanted them to happen.